I feel kind of dirty

After today I just kind of feel dirty.

I fully hold to the belief that there is nothing wrong with liking smut.  Lets be honest, I write reviews now and then for smut (and in one case then lent the smutty book to my mom).  I am pretty much of the opinion that if the involved parties are consenting and capable of said consent, have fun.  However when it really comes down to it, I just don't need to know what floats your boat.  Really, I probably have no interest in what turns you on, especially if you are one of my patrons (and that's without getting into something that I find squicky).

So to start things off I think a patron decided to troll us.  At least, that would be the more... comfortable option.

When someone borrows one of our ereaders (Sony or Kindle), they are allowed to purchase one title to add to our collection.  Beyond that one title they must reimburse us the cost.  Some patrons add a book, others decline to, and once in a blue moon a patron adds a handful of free titles.  It actually took surprisingly long for someone to add erotica to an ereader.

So it started out pretty mundane.  The first "Thank You for your Purchase" email had two titles, including the only title in all this that cost anything.
  • The Seance / Albie Still
  • Chicken Soup for the Soul : True Love : 101 Heartwarming and Humorous Stories about Dating, Romance, Love, and Marriage / Jack Canfield

The next one however seemed like it was the start of an unfortunate story.
  • Thought of Suicide? Welcome to the Club! / Dylan Stevens
  • How to Save your Marriage : Reignite the Passionate and Trusting Relationship You Deserve / Rachel Edison
  • Why Argue? Take The Sting Out Of Your Quarrels / Donna White Glaser
  • 365 Days of Romance : Inspirational Quotes for Every Day of the Year / MG Keefe
  • I Forgive You : Why You Should Always Forgive / Eric Watterson
  • How To Improve Your Marriage : The 7 Secrets to a Happy, Healthy and Fulfilling Relationship / Rachel Edison
  • Outing Dating Abuse : A Primer for LGBTQ Youth / Barb Chandler, BA
  • The Drug Addict Pattern / Jacobus Kotze
  • Why Woman Stay in Abusive Relationships / Donna J. Farris
  • Incest and Its Effect on Families / Jane Gilgun
  • Adultery Without Tears : Say Hello, Don't Wave Goodbye / Joshua Gould
  • Where Did My Fairy Tale Go? / S. C. Williamson
  • Marriage & Divorce (A Personal Story with a hint of Humor by a Man) Epilogue by Lance the Border Collie / Stefan Kulakowski
  • The Romance Manifesto / Kristy K. James
I mean, that looks like there are serious issues going on.  By the way, ever wonder why some of us rage about data mining and why librarians won't even let someone else pick up your holds?  I honestly have no clue who has this ereader out at this time.  Once they return it the ereader is completely off their record (though all these books will still be "owned" by the ereader account).

Then right after all that, and the book about the effect of incest we get this gem:
  • Stroking Daddy / Burt Maverick 
Ummm....

Then came many more, with some horror stories mixed in, and some screenplays (including one based on a Nicholas Sparks) just to mix things up:
  • Lusting after Step Dad / Belle Hart
  • Cupid's Island #1: Ripped Undress me. Don't be Gentle! / D. Powers
  • Fireside Threeway : A Dear Diary Story (MMF) / Francis Ashe
  • Doctor Knows Best / Betty Glenn
  • Rough Sex in Her Lonely Cabin / Kitty Meaker
  • Killer Bedtime Stories / Drac Von Stoller
  • Creeper; A Short Horror Story / Brandon Grant
  • Mary Scary / Michelle de Villiers
  • Ghost Hunting Diary Volume 1 / TM Simmons
  • Esther's House / Michael Carter
  • Darker than the Night / Sheila Lee Brown
  • Lilith : Screenplay / Maximus Romulus
  • Remembrance Photo : The Screenplay / Michael Hoffman
  • Jesse's Heart (a Screenplay) / David Segrove
  • Dear John Screenplay : Based on the Novel by Nicholas Sparks / Jamie Linden
  • In Dreams : Screenplay / James Eddy
  • The Haunted Mirror / Drac Von Stoller
  • True Ghost Stories / Steven Hager
  • The Ghost of Hill Haven Road / Drac Von Stoller
  • Brianna : A virgin lesbian sex tale / Lexie X
  • Sleeping virgin seduction (breeding sex sleep fantasy) / Nicole Snow
  • Bad Kitty : A Story of Convenient Sex / Max Kongo
  • Ryan's Secret : A prequel to The Sex Cabaret / Thom Wolf
  • Blowing My Big Brother (Taboo Sex/Family Sex) / Pandora Box
  • Sex in The Office 1 - First Encounters / Rory Hitch
  • Family Fucking : My Cousin's Ass (Taboo Sex/Mind Control/Anal Sex) / Pandora Box
  • Daddy Catches His Little Slut (Daddy Sex Stories) / Candy Young
I'm not sure if the patron realizes that every time they "purchase" something we get an email notification.  Perhaps they don't care?

And just when I thought that was all... there were more:
  • The ABCs of Erotica : A is for Anal / Malia Mallory
  • The Erotic Exploits of New Lesbian Desires Volume #1 : Discovering Desires in the Girl-Garden and Please Misses Officer (Erotica By Women For Women) / Zoharah Jay
  • Sexy Black Women (Young Sex Stories - an erotica series) / Tom Day
  • Teacher's Pet (BDSM Erotica) / Dylan Palmer
  • Drenched (erotica) / Chastity Lane
  • Bunny Sex #1: Sexual Desires (Erotica) / Sophie Sin
  • The ABCs of Erotica - C is for Cock Ring (A BDSM Femdom Short Story) / Malia Mallory
  • Readerotica 4: Free Erotica Stories for Your eReader Volume 4 - Exciting Situations / PriveCo Inc
  • Sensual Erotica 12 : Thrilling Her / Red Phoenix
  • Professor Jones' Slut (Lesbian BDSM Erotica) / Ashley Spector
  • Daddy's Gift (Daddy Daughter Breeding Taboo Erotica) / Ruby Falls
  • Sensual Erotica 1 : Loving Amy / Red Phoenix
  • Readerotica 5 13 Great Free Erotica from Great Writers / PriveCo Inc
  • Readerotica - Free Erotica for Your EReader / PriveCo Inc
  • Soft Love #1 : Precious Love 'Love Freely Given' (Couple's Erotica) / Sophie Sin
  • Make Up Fuck (M/f intimate domination erotica) / Naomi Lauder
  • Fifty Shades of Erotica : Ghosts of Desire / Michelle Fox
  • The Quickie (Sexy and Short Erotica Story) / Kitty Fine
  • Spanked into Submission : Lesbian BDSM Erotica / Laura Vixen
  • Coming with Daddy (Taboo Erotica) / Elaine Cara
  • Pure Seduction : Lesbian Romance Erotica / Lauren Jagger
  • His Every Desire : The Billionaire's Assistant (Billionaire BDSM Domination Erotica) / Chloe Cassidy
  • Hypno-Sis 1 : My Sister 19s Tits (Mind Control/Brother-Sister Taboo Sex Erotica) / Pandora Box
  • Nicole (Lesbian Erotica) / Taryn Taylor
  • Some Like it Rough (The Original Erotica Collection) / Delilah Fawkes
  • Letting Go (a tale of paranormal Erotica) / Polly J Adams
  • 10 Sexy Stories : Thank You, Our Readers, Erotica Bundle / V.R. Dunlap
  • Curves For His Pleasure (The Billionare's Curvy Submissive Part 1) (Light BDSM Billionaire Erotica) / Denise Avery
  • Sensual Erotica 4 : Deeper, Baby! / Red Phoenix
  • Being the Submissive : Lesbian BDSM Erotica / Conner Hayden
  • The Massage : An Erotic Massage and Sex Erotica Story / Kitty Fine
  • Readerotica 2 - Free Erotica for Your eReader - Volume 2 - Turning Up The Heat / PriveCo Inc
  • Don't Waste a Drop, Daddy (taboo virgin impregnation erotica) / Riley Rourke
  • My Lesbian Daughters (Sister Erotica/Family Sex/Mind Control Taboo) / Pandora Box
  • Connections (A Short Erotic/Erotica Romance) / Selena Kitt
  • Busted / Chuck Willman
  • Open Your Legs for my Family / Aphrodite Hunt
  • Ultra XXX : Love, Sex & Maturity (Deviant #3) / Sophie Sin
  • Ultra Gay XXX : Prison Sex #1 : Prison Sex #1 / Dick Powers
  • XXx-PoetixXx / Mr Love Zone
  • Ultra XXX : Slave to the Insane (Dirty Deeds #1) / Sophie Sin
  • Ultra XXX : Vanilla #1 / Sophie Sin
  • Ultra XXX : NTR #1 / Sophie Sin
  • Ultra XXX : Deviant Collection / Sophie Sin
  • Ultra Gay XXX : Daddy Knows Best (Bad Grandpa #1) / Dick Powers
  • Ultra Gay XXX : Brothers in Love / Dick Powers
  • Hardcore XXX : Office Girl VS Boss (X-Rated One Shot) / Sophie Sin
  • Ultra XXX : Ass Freak VS Chubby Girl / Sophie Sin
  • Ultra XXX : Violation of Symphony (Demons' Play Things #1) / Sophie Sin
  • Hard Gay XXX : Comedian VS Heckler / Dick Powers
  • Ultra XXX : Lessons in Sex & Women (Deviant #2) / Sophie Sin
  • Ultra XXX : Train Molester #1 / Sophie Sin
  • Ultra XXX : Turning Twins (MILF #1) / Sophie Sin
  • The XXX Files Episode 1 / Lexi Maxxwell
  • Ultra XXX : Mumma Can't Get Enough (Random Strangers #1) / Sophie Sin
  • Ultra XXX : Sexually Full Circle (Deviant #4) / Sophie Sin
  • Samantha Steel Is... The Spy Who Did Me -- The First Coming A Samantha Steel Erotic Thriller / Vanessa DeSimone
In case you are wondering, yes, I am trying to share my pain.  Some of these titles... just... no.  That being said, I may also be laughing way too hard at some of these titles, or their explanations.  I mean I feel that if you've already stated that the story is erotic in the title, you don't really need to go on further to say that it is an "erotic sex story."  And does The Quickie really need the qualifier that it is a short story?  I do feel that "Dick Powers" is a fitting name to write erotica/porn under.

Since I actually had to originally type out all of these titles for work I feel the need to also gripe that some of these authors really need to learn how to properly and consistently format a title.  I mean the Readerotica handles its sub-title different each time.  However, kudos to Ashely Spector for properly using an apostrophe after a name ending in "s."

Regardless, it was after this last batch that we went "Is there any possibility that they are not trolling us?"  Technically they did not break policy, and per our contract we are not responsible for the content on the device.  However with this many new titles we've basically decided to wash our hands of it and not edit the device record to add all of the new books.  This has nothing to do with the fact that we're dealing with porn titles, more a response to the flood and the unlikelyhood that anyone will be searching out catalog specifically for these titles.  We will remove most of the titles from the ereader.  We are not returning them, if someone wants to read them they still can without a purchase.  I normally would feel bad about essentially censoring the collection, but we think they were trying to cause mischief, and the titles will still be accessible without the ereader having an overwhelming amount of porn to sort through before finding a novel.

The icing on all this was when a very nice gentleman in his 90's told my boss that he thought 50 Shades of Grey was very well written.  I decided that regardless of my feelings towards the quality of that book, that this was not an argument I needed to get into.  I'm used to the fact that the biggest fan demographic at the library of 50 Shades is over 70, it was just the timing of that statement that got to me (and the almost innate reaction of someone older than one's grandparents praising 50 Shades).

And in a week or two I get a reminder of all this when the ereader is returned.  Ick.

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